Who is that lile fat dumpy lad,
Who just can call his mam an’ dad
An’ kicks his legs an’ craws like mad ?
Who is it sits upon the mat,
An’ wi’ his hand, sa plump an’ fat,
Poos t’ tail of our owd Thomas cat ?
Who is it laughs at Fred and Jenny,
When they are rather rough an’ dinny,
An’ slavers on his bib an’ pinny ?
Who nearly loups out of his skin,
When t’ barns fra school come runnin’ in,
An’ poos his daddy’s nooas an’ chin ?
Who is it that can screeam and rooar,
Or if he likes can laugh like stoor,
An’ sometimes maks girt dubs on t’ floor ?
Who is it sometimes starts a weepin’,
As if some trouble he was deep in,
At neet when fooaks sud au be sleepin’ ?
But who oft rises in a mornin’,
As if au grief an’ trouble scornin’,
Wi’ smiles his bonny faace adornin’ ?
Who is it that’s as sweet as honey –
That laughin’ lad sa fat an’ funny,
That can’t be bowt wi’ all t’ queen’s money ?